Laura: Eternal

Sept 29,2022
 Again, I find myself writing in remembering a loved one who has recently passed away... This time was fast...so fast we never really saw it coming. Someone so full of life that it just doesn't seem real. 

fast forward, 1.16.23

I never finished this post and honestly I am  glad I didn't, it gave me more time to process everything and more has happened since. Another family member pasted and I cant seem to grasp reality much these days. It feels like so much is falling away from me, my family and everything I once knew and held dear. How can one person...hold so much stability over a family. How can two people be the glue that kept everything going? 

I am really not sure how I feel about the aftermath of all of it. All I know is that I am still hurting and still faced with the grief of my grandma...and now my aunt and cousin. My aunt, as seen over this last holiday season, was honestly the glue that kept the world moving for our family. She kept celebrations happening. 

Going to church even is hard for me... When I went, my sunday morning was filled with God and her wise words and wisdom. Now Im not sure how to function without both. One is with me always. But even walking in the church doors, brings tears to my eyes. She is the very reason I walked through those doors in the first place. A church so welcoming and kind. Always made me feel at peace. Now...its like walking into a broken memory. It doesnt really feel like home anymore. 

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